Through a channeled message, Spirit replied:
“There is no right way. If at the time it feels joyful, be joyful. If at the time it feels sad, be sad. Everyone’s experience and connections are different. There is no right way. You will find peace when it feels peaceful.
“Do not judge yourself harshly for a right or wrong way to do it, our dear, for you have done it wonderfully. You carried forward with your life. You put one foot in front of the other. Put out the best attitude, the best you, you could be, regardless of the situation. Hold your head up high.
“If, at the moment if it feels solemn, let it be solemn. It doesn’t have to be every year. It doesn’t have to be every time. Light a candle and say, ‘Thinking of you.’ ‘Happy Birthday.’ ‘Happy passing.’ ‘Happy anniversary.’ ‘Happy death-aversary.’”